I think I’ve been my parents little girl for too long. I don’t know if it’s the turning 18 y.o or it just a coincidence that I feel this way now. Lately I’ve grown up, my decisions on certain things are different, and I react more mature. The thing is, I feel that my parents want me to be a kid. I mean don’t blame them for feeling this way, its just natural I guess for parents. But I can’t hold myself back. I want to be independent. I do sometime feel guilty for doing the simplest thing. I feel guilty writing this now. I just want to let it out. I love my parents so much! i dont want to dissapoint them. Im scared if I grow up they will be dissapointed. what should i do??????? HELPPPPP!
changes part 2/ Happier
one thing i really wanted to do when i entered college, beside the “learning experience” of course was to change myself. okay, maybe not totally change , just be a better version of me ( deep down inside i like being quiet). in high school i was too shy. i didnt like that at all. i had this anger towards some people in my high school. even though it has been years since i was bullied in middle school i still hold a grudge towards them. they didnt physically bullied me but i know everytime i turn my back they will whisper bad things about me. it didnt help either when i didnt fit into any cliques. through all these years i learned that you cannot change people so thats why i decide to change myself. so when i entered college i knew nobody here know me. i was a stranger.i like that. that way if i act certain way i wouldnt be judge as a fake. i can be a better me. A happier LILMISSFATTY90 
stress no more
im done with it. now i can relax and not think about anything. but something that u said the other day that bothers me. i mean its true…but somehow im a bit sadden by it… maybe i was shocked..i didnt think u would ever do that..anyways…i cant change anything..its in the pass…even if i dwell on it, it still wouldnt change anything..im going 2 enjoy my damm holidays!
one down, one more to go!
okay, i dont want to jinx it but i will say this…90% of it is in the book. so i really hope 4 an A. now i have to worry about the other one. this one im really not sure, i mean theres NO formula to it. its just your knowledge and ideas. i do not work well under pressure.yikes!!!! help me!!
im scared
got today to study. im studying. only 2 papers. 1 is already in my hand. the other 1 that im scared of. for some reason, i dont think i cld do it.
ANGER
i dont feel like studying rite now. i should i got finals in like 2 days. evrythg i read just goes in one ear and out another. i think bcos in the back of my mind i have this anger, frustration towards a lot of things. i dont wanna be selfish. i know uve help me a lot b4…its just that i dont like it when u bother me. im an angry person. im a lot happier thn b4 but im still angry!
for the record, i know nobody is reading this. i like it like that. i dont mine either if anybody do read it. have opinions on how i should get rid of my anger??
i guess nothings not changing afterall
well, i thought im gonna do something thats not me, somethg that would get me outta my comfort zone. but i guess not.i have no permission to do so. oh well. i kinda have anticipated that. its just that im letting some ppl down. in a way im doing…i mean i was gonna do it 4 me and at the same time as a fvr.
im sadden by it. somebody said i shouldnt be sad about it. but i am. i cant help how i feel right?! no one can…i think i was excited abt it. i dont wanna go to school anymre. 
…
what i did today??…im not even sure… i mean i know where i went…but not sure of the purpose…
well, i guess cos i was too scared to stay at home alone so i went out with a very good friend….
after that i went home…woah…what a boring day..hehe…i should study.i got finals next week…but i think im better at memorizing at the last minute…:D….
no.1
well the title is cliche…but whatever…i dont know why suddenly i wanna write a blog…i use to want to keep everythg to myself. lately though i find myself changing. im definitely not the same person as i was last year. im very shy. its hard for me to feel comfortable around ppl. i think bcos im scared of ppl judgement. yeah yeah…”u shouldnt care what ppl think”…i tell that to myself everytime. im still scared that ppl think im a horrible person and i will end up alone.
the changes that ive been experiencing…to some extent is for the best.i need to get out there and away frm my comfort zone..but i do not trust myself enough to let my old self go…
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